
SAME AS IT EVER WAS
They Inherit the Rules We Can't Seem to Change
It was finally time to venture onto another platform. You know, the “professional” one.
On my first day, my LinkedIn feed showed a pretty woman who had written a post about AI. She included a selfie with her thought piece. She wore a very low cut shirt and the angle of the shot… completely intentional. The photo she chose had nothing to do with the topic. And no surprise – that cleavage shot was her most commented post.
Do I sound judgy? I’m really not. Am I jealous? Maybe.
Because I avoided this trap for a long time. That choice cost me something real — visibility, reach, validation, and undoubtedly, revenue. I’ve made my peace with this choice for myself.
For over 20 years, my entire artistic style has been built on the exaggeration of female beauty – not as aspiration, but as a mirror. A cultural one – the big eyes, the lashes, the impossible body proportions.
But mine are drawings.
As the actual business person behind those illustrations, I was hoping to be known for what I think rather than how I look. When I was younger, I called that integrity. Now that I’m older I realize we pay either way.
IT'S JUST BUSINESS...AND IT IS PERSONAL
The Fastest Path to Fame
Strangers have been stopping my daughter since she was little to tell her she’s gorgeous. I completely agree. But I’ve tried hard to raise her to understand that being seen is not the same as being valued.
It’s not working the way I planned.
She and her friends have absorbed something I can’t seem to argue her out of – that fame is the goal, and the fastest path runs straight through how you look.
She told me recently she’d ChatGPT her way through college. That she just wants people to like her. When I tried to talk to her about it, she looked at me with a particular lack of patience puberty-ridden pre-teens reserve for people who just don’t get it.
Bro Mom. You just don’t understand.
Maybe she’s right. Maybe I don’t.
THE NUMBERS DON'T LIE
More Than a Feeling. It's Measurable.
The Dove Self-Esteem Project surveyed over 1,000 girls between the ages of 10 and 17. My daughter is twelve. She is inside every one of these numbers. And it doesn’t stop when they grow up – a workplace appearance survey and research from the Institute of Labor Economics make the professional cost just as clear.
9 in 10 girls follow at least one social media account that makes them feel less beautiful.
1 in 2 girls say toxic beauty advice on social media directly causes low self-esteem.
8 in 10 girls have skipped seeing friends or family because of how they look.
72% of people believe good looks give women an advantage in both getting hired and getting promoted.
Up to 15% more - that's the earnings gap between attractive and less-attractive professionals.
1 in 3 women say they would trade a full year of their life for what they consider a perfect body. (Dove Real State of Beauty Report, 2024 - 33,000 respondents, 20 countries)
THE QUESTION I CAN'T STOP ASKING
Can We Afford to Keep Paying This Price?
I created the illustration above one morning after my daughter asked me to French braid her hair.
She looked adorable. I was happy to see her happiness.
Then, she went to her room, sat in front of her vanity and took approximately 76 selfies. She sent them to her group chat in need of approval that she did indeed look cute. Mom’s opinion apparently not mattering in the least. I went down to my office and started drawing – knowing this work would bare the question I can’t seem to shake.
What do these beauty standards cost women?
I’m not asking for me anymore.
I’m asking because she’s twelve and she’s watching, and the world around her keeps insisting there’s no trade-off at all.
FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH
The Art. The Brand Work. The Writing
The older I get, the more I worry about what we tell women about being seen. The older my daughter gets, the more I worry about what she thinks being seen is worth.
For years, I’ve been writing about women, brand building, and what it takes to be known for what you think. Find me on LinkedIn – and connect with me there. Cleavage not required.


